


smile for me (when the going gets rough)

by beforesundown, jaeyongficfest



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Lots of sick Taeyong u have been warned, M/M, Soulmates AU, Terminal Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26624923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beforesundown/pseuds/beforesundown, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeyongficfest/pseuds/jaeyongficfest
Summary: Taeyong faces his reckoning when he feels that sudden burst of butterflies in his stomach at the sight of Jung Jaehyun. Too bad he would rather literally die than confess to the other.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 11
Kudos: 176





	1. Final

Taeyong faces his reckoning when he feels that sudden burst of butterflies in his stomach at the sight of Jung Jaehyun. Realization dawns on him a second later when he feels his heart beating loudly inside his rib cage, not sparing any formalities at all.

It's a little over 10 a.m. and he's in his second class for the day. The hallways are packed with students trying to get inside the classroom when the said boy catches his eyes, beaming and high-fiving everyone he passes by. His world spins at the sight, his knees weakening and throat clogging.

No.

The fluttering in his stomach and the rapid beating of his heart won't stop, and the force is so strong he's almost knocked backwards when Doyoung catches his arm and helps him stand upright.

"Hey, you okay?" his friend perks up, worry etched on his face.

Taeyong shakes his head and gulps the lump in his throat. "Yeah, I'm fine."

This can't be it. This has to be a mistake. Jung Jaehyun cannot be his soulmate.

\--

1 month ago

Taeyong drops his satchel on the table, his books following suit as he settles on the seat right across Doyoung. It's a beautiful Friday afternoon and the weather was too good for them not to be eating outside the cafeteria. Students litter around them, settling in other tables nearby. It wasn't only them who thought the weather was too good to be spending lunch inside.

"Hey, have you heard about the new transfer student?" Doyoung asks to which Taeyong shrugs, taking out the lunch he packed that morning.

"Totally hot, I think he'd be your type," Doyoung teases. Taeyong doesn't say anything to that, only gives him a look.

"But then again he's probably everyone's type. Ooh, that's him right there!" Doyoung points behind Taeyong, and he rolls his eyes before twisting around to find an unfamiliar face settling down in one of the tables a few feet away from them.

"A sophomore, most seers already have their eyes on him. As if someone with that face would be soulmates with just anyone."

Taeyong watches as the new guy settles into his seat. He recognizes some people in the table, he could make out Sicheng, Jungwoo and Johnny from where he's sitting. He raises an eyebrow at the sight, barely two days into his new school and he's already hanging out with a prominent group of people. He guesses that's to be expected with someone of that caliber.

"You think he's a seer?" Doyoung questions. Taeyong turns his attention back to their own table.

A seer. That's what they call the few people who know who their soulmates are. Taeyong vaguely recalls how it works, his grandmother retelling stories of how his father was a seer when he met his mother.

"Even if he was, his soulmate probably isn't in this school." Taeyong chimes, opening his lunch box. "Somewhere far away like California, or Europe."

Doyoung's brows furrow at his comment, "What's with the negativity? And what if _you're_ a seer, huh?" Taeyong laughs, stabbing his spoon on his lunch box. If he's a seer he simply wouldn't care. There are more important things he should worry about and absolutely nothing about being a seer can benefit him in any way.

"Seers," he starts. "Are hopeless romantics driven by their desperte want for validation and acceptance from their soulmates because they've spent their whole lives searching for their other half and thus can't love themselves. While I," he pauses to look at Doyoung in the eye.

"Am perfectly capable of being alone for the rest of my life, thank you very much," he smiles sarcastically before returning his attention back to his food.

Doyoung drops it at that, figures it's useless to be spending lunch time arguing with his best friend in this pleasant weather. Taeyong has always had a bold streak to him, and he was unapologetic as much as he was insightful.

He just wishes one day all the things he's ever said doesn't come back to bite him in the ass.

\--

Taeyong drops his backpack on the side of the sink, uncaring of all the dirt and grime that must've accumulated there since it was last cleaned. He sets both his hands on either sides of it, focusing on calming his breathing as he shuts his eyes tight, fingers gripping the cold granite in an attempt to feel something else other than the loud beating in his chest and the wobbling in his knees.

He's a seer. Just like his father, just like how his grandmother had said he would be.

_Your father was 21 when he found out._

_They met in the summer when your mother–_

_It was fate–_

Taeyong presses the heel of his palm to his temple.

_The feeling of butterflies–_

His head was reeling, the sound of his grandmother's voice echoing in his head, mixing into acute distortion.

_And they just knew–_

_They were soulmates._

Taeyong jumps at the loud bang coming from one of the cubicle doors, his eyes snap open and from the reflection of the mirror he could barely make out Johnny coming out from said cubicle. The taller stares at him for a moment, taking hesitant steps towards the sink to wash his hands.

"Hey, Taeyong. You okay?"

Taeyong tells him he is, hurriedly grabbing his backpack before he's darting out the restroom to go to his next class.

\--

3 weeks ago

Taeyong finds out more about the infamous transfer student a few days later at Mark's birthday party. The Lee household is packed when he arrives, and he curses his own decision of not going with Doyoung earlier before the party was in full swing. Now he has to weave through the crowd of tipsy adolescents to find his best friend.

He pushes past a group of girls giggling at him as he passes by, ignoring their calls to _dance with me_ as his eyes dart around to find Doyoung. The music is blaring in his ears and the bass pounds hard enough to rattle his insides. He's nearing the not so crowded part of the house when an arm pulls his wrist back and a voice is yelling through the loud music.

"Hey, Taeyong-hyung! I've heard a lot about you, I'm Jaehyun!" Jaehyun yells from across him while dancing to the music blaring from the speakers. Taeyong winces at the sounds overwhelming his ears and he glares in annoyance at the younger.

"Come on, let's dance!" He yells once again, and goes to grab Taeyong to the middle of the dance floor. The latter is mildly pissed by now, the crowd he was trying to get away from was now swarming around him once again and he has to take a deep breath to compose himself. The best 'composing' he could do was viciously snagging his arm back. Jaehyun turns to him, confusion imminent in his eyes.

"I don't dance," Taeyong spits, doesn't spare him another glance before he's walking away from the younger. Jaehyun can only watch as the older stomps away.

That night, Taeyong learns that Jaehyun likes to party. He likes to dance, and he likes having people dance around him. He likes the attention, Taeyong thinks as he stares at the younger from the second floor of the house, looking down at the sight below. The sophomore is surrounded by freshmen and seniors alike ogling and fawning at him and his moves.

Taeyong scoffs. He knows exactly the kind of guy Jaehyun is. The typical brainless jock who likes to spend his free time partying and his school days sleeping. He's seen it all too often on campus and he knows this transfer student isn't any different, and if he's right, the younger is most probably going to join some flamboyant sport on campus where he can show off his face and body as much as he can.

Taeyong turns out to be right, Jaehyun joins the basketball team a week later as soon as applications open and he laughs to himself. He can literally read right through this guy.

"Huh, you're really keeping a keen eye on him, aren't you?" Doyoung responds as they make their way back to their classroom. They're up for a roleplay on the Manchu invasion and Taeyong is smoothening out the creases on his hanbok here and there when Doyoung's warning catches his attention.

"Taeyong, watch out!" There's suddenly a splash of paint spilling on his hanbok, the strong smell invading his nose and Taeyong shuts his eyes as sprays of blue make its way onto his face. He makes out the sound of a can hitting the floor, and a frantic Jung Jaehyun wiping the paint off his clothes.

"Oh god, hyung I'm so sorry I–"

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" Taeyong's voice booms throughout the hallways, grabbing the attention of the few people outside from their class who are preparing for the play as well. Jaehyun hesitantly pulls his arm back, afraid of meeting the older's eyes, he keeps his head down. 

"Are you a fucking child!? You can't carry a fucking pail of paint without spilling it all over someone!?" He yells, staring down at the mess on his costume.

"What do you expect me to do now? Perform in front of an audience in my underwear?!" Taeyong can't keep his anger down, and Doyoung just gawks at him from the side, as well as everyone witnessing the humiliation of Jung Jaehyun. Taeyong averts his gaze to the younger male who still has his eyes cast down.

"You think everyone loves you here?" He takes a step forward in time when Jaehyun raises his head and meets his eyes, his voice laced with menace and so much contempt. "Just because you play the innocent flower boy everyone loves? I see right through your façade, Jung. You're nothing but a dunce, trying to make his way through college without putting too much effort into anything and using people to your benefit."

Jaehyun's brows knit at the statement, and he gets the courage to talk back at the senior. "Hyung, that's too much. I'm no-"

"Do not call me that." Taeyong's gaze hardens. "We are not close," and with that, Taeyong stomps his way out of the scene, both his hands on his hanbok trying his best to keep the paint on his clothes and not leaving a trail on the floor.

Jaehyun is left staring down at the slab of paint near the fallen can. Is that what Taeyong thinks of him? A dunce? Was that why the older never seemed interested in getting to know him? Using people to his benefit? Where is this all coming from?

Jaehyun never expected everyone to like him the moment he transferred to this school, but he didn't expect to be so vehemently hated by someone either, and the older's reasons weren't even justifiable. Jaehyun wasn't using anybody, his grades were average, far from failing and he puts just as much effort as everyone else does in college if not more.

It's at that moment that Jaehyun decides, he doesn't like Lee Taeyong. The older is a judgmental know-it-all who thinks he has everyone figured out at first glance. He's the living embodiment of all things toxic about being 19, trying to find your way in the world while he's watching you closely waiting for you to fail in order to broadcast it to the entire world.

They both don't know what happened after that, but the mutual dislike they have for each other just comes naturally. It doesn't come in screaming profanities at each other or stuffing each other's lockers with a dead rat to prove a point, but Jaehyun sees it when he passes by Taeyong in the hallways and the older rolls his eyes at him or glares at him from afar. He returns the gesture by doing the same thing, and pretty soon their friends start noticing.

Johnny thinks it's only right that he's mad after Taeyong humiliated him in front of so many people from _that_ incident. Doyoung however, thinks that Taeyong overreacted given his pre-imposed notions on Jaehyun. But Taeyong doesn't care. To him, Jaehyun is an annoying brat who thinks the world is at his mercy. He thinks he can get everyone to do whatever he says in the guise of playing the good guy and being the school's it boy, and Taeyong is not having it.

\--

Present Day

Taeyong has seen it coming. His father was a seer, and he didn't mind being one back when life wasn't as complicated as it is now. As a child, he really did like the idea of spending a lifetime with someone he dearly loves and them taking care of each other, perhaps building a family if he's lucky.

None of his friends were seers, and no seer ever claimed to be his soulmate, so the thought eventually drifted his mind. He never thought of having to deal with a soulmate since then, the idea locked in a tiny box somewhere in the recesses of his consciousness. Maybe he never inherited his father's being a seer, or maybe his soulmate was somewhere miles away from him that they'd never actually meet each other and he would never find out.

But here, as he stands in Johnny's living room waiting to start the project they've been tasked to do together as a group, he realizes he has no escape. This is fate's twisted way of bringing him and Jaehyun together, and he has no choice but to comply. Taeyong sighs defeatedly, ignoring the faint fluttering he feels in his stomach

"Sit down, Taeyong." Johnny gestures to the couch adjacent to him and he obliges. Jaehyun is situated beside Johnny, gaze anywhere else except for him. The living room is quiet and the air is thick as they sit around waiting for someone to speak up. Johnny breaks the silence a few excruciating minutes later.

"So, I think that we should start with um.." The latter picks up the papers on the coffee table, looking over them before he continues. "Principles of communication; elements, functions, stuff like that." He sets them back down and looks over to Jaehyun who doesn't seem to be paying attention.

The younger notices the look Johnny gives him, so he acknowledges the idea. "Yeah, I'll go with body language and all that."

Taeyong scoffs from across them.

"Of course," he mumbles. Of course he'd pick the easiest topic. How typical. Johnny clears his throat in an attempt to ease the atmosphere and assigns the only topic left to Taeyong to which he agrees. Jaehyun only glares at him through the exchange. He hasn't forgotten about what the older put him through barely a month ago, and he certainly isn't all that happy to be working with him in this stupid project. But he has to take a few classes that weren't in his previous university in order to catch up and ease his load for the next semester. 

Taeyong all but notices the look the younger is sending him, and the feeling of butterflies in his stomach only grow more powerful that he has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep it from showing. He decides to pay it no heed, ignoring the lightheadedness creeping into him.

"Is that all? I need to get home before dinner." Taeyong moves to grab his backpack, but Johnny remembers why he invited them both over in the first place.

"Ah, I have some notes on communication elements from a class last semester. It's in my room upstairs," he signals for them to wait as he dashes to his room, leaving the two in complete silence.

Taeyong immediately whips out his phone to avoid talking to the younger while Jaehyun just keeps mum, and they stay like that for a moment. Unmoving and completely ignoring each other. The way Taeyong reacted to him claiming the topic for their paper still irked Jaehyun. He wasn't even being subtle about disliking him and they still have a long way to go before they finish this damned paper.

"If you're so smart and responsible why don't _you_ just do the entire paper then?"

Taeyong averts his gaze from his phone and cocks a brow the latter's way. The butterflies in his stomach seem to erupt at the sight of Jung Jaehyun from across him. Clad in simple denim and a black tee, Taeyong doesn't know why, but he feels like fainting. He's literally swooning at the sight of the guy he's vowed to hate. He furrows his brows, hoping the slight tint in his cheeks and the jitter in his knees don't show and fires back at the younger. "Is this your way of deceiving people to do their work for you?"

Jaehyun is about to reply, but the older doesn't let him. Gathering his things, he then spits, "Unlike your band of minions that follow you everywhere, I'm not stupid enough to fall for your tactics." He stands up, looking down at the other menacingly. 

"Tell Johnny to give me the notes tomorrow, I have better things to do than sit around here with you," Taeyong makes his way for the front door, and when he rounds the corner—out of sight from the other with his back to the wall—he lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

He gingerly places a palm over his chest, afraid to face the reality of his heart beating loudly as if he'd just run a marathon. He shakes his head, this'll go away. He's not soulmates with Jung Jaehyun. This is just infatuation... or so he hopes.

\--

When the next day comes, Taeyong is on his way to the pound where he volunteers, a light skip in his steps as he thinks of the amount of treats he's bought for all the dogs there. He started volunteering when he left his hometown and entered college to somehow appease his need to be around animals because he can't have pets in his apartment. It's been a good outlet for him ever since, and the animals always take his stress away as much as they give them. 

When he's about to cross the street, a voice calls his name from behind. He whips around to face said person, who's handing him the notes he didn't have a chance to give to him yesterday. Taeyong takes the papers in his hand, looking over them for a moment.

"Where are you going?" The taller quips.

"The pound." He answers, not taking his eyes off the papers.

"The pound? To adopt?" Taeyong looks back at Johnny with a blank expression.

"I volunteer there," he deadpans, leaves the other dazed in the middle of the street to ponder at his answer. 

\--

Taeyong doesn't get to see either Johnny or Jaehyun until 3 days later. It's a Tuesday, and they have to start working on their paper if they wanna finish it early. They work on it together as best as they can, with Taeyong and Jaehyun barely interacting as Johnny acts as the mediator between the two. Taeyong doesn't mind it. He gets work done with the silence, and Johnny always has snacks brought out for them whenever they work.

Taeyong tries his best to ignore the annoying butterflies in his stomach. It's hard when he's in close proximity with Jaehyun for almost three times a week, but he gets through it for another 14 days. He reminds himself that there's a possibility he's not a seer, and that the younger isn't his soulmate but simply someone he's infatuated with, which is stupid because he hates him. He insists the butterflies will go away once they finish the project, but now they only have a week left and the feeling still hasn't subsided, especially because he's been around the other more times now than he has been for the past month. If anything, it's gotten worse to the point that it's making him feel sick, literally.

He excuses himself one night, a pounding headache waning his focus from making the paper. A few days later, he gets hit with the worst stomach ache he's ever had, in the middle of a class. He slumps in his seat, sweat marring his forehead. Everything in his surrounding feels hot, but his body feels so cold that he's shivering in his own clothes, his hand coming up to curl a fist at his stomach. Doyoung notices two seats behind him, so he tells the professor and excuses both of them to go to the nurse’s office. 

It doesn’t stop there, Taeyong keeps feeling like shit for the next few days. So he tells Johnny he’ll be doing his share of the report at home, until the deadline finally came. He barely gets to finish the paper, sending his work in at exactly 11:58 at night, and he falls face first onto his bed, his limbs feeling like they’re going to detach from his body at any minute.

He finally decides to take his illness seriously when he faints in the middle of chemistry class. 

They’re clad in lab coats and safety goggles, experimenting with hydrochloric acid and the smell is making him nauseous. Johnny—his lab partner, does most of the work. Adding in chemicals and following instructions as directed on their material. He feels himself sway when Johnny adds another chemical to the mix, another pungent alcohol smell that's making his head hurt. He squeezes his eyes shut, willing the ache away. 

There are 10 more pairs doing the same thing on other tables and the smell is making him more and more dizzy. He holds a firm grip on the side of the table. His vision is spinning and he stumbles on his own two feet. Johnny notices and is on his side in a matter of seconds, hand on his elbow he asks, “Hey Taeyong, you oka— Taeyong!” 

Taeyong feels his body slacken, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as his vision turns black. 

\--

_“Hey, man can you come to the clinic?”_

“Why, what’s wrong? You okay?” Jaehyun stuffs the last of his stuff into his backpack as students pile out of the room, the phone wedged between his ear and his shoulder almost falling from where it's situated. 

_“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s Taeyong, he fainted in the middle of class and I need to find Doyoung before my next class to watch over him. Do you have his number?”_

Jaehyun finds himself tossing his backpack on his shoulder and hurriedly exiting the classroom. “No, but I have free period right now, I could watch over him.” 

Johnny signals an okay, and Jaehyun jogs to the clinic. There’s a weird feeling at the pit of his stomach at the knowledge of Taeyong being unconscious. Suddenly fainting in the middle of a class wasn’t really a good sign he was taking care of himself, and he’s been MIA for most of the times they were supposed to be making their project the other week. He wasn’t even on good terms with the older and he still dislikes him, doesn’t wanna be associated with him. But he wants to help Johnny since his friend was part of this predicament, too. So that’s what he tells himself all the way to the nurse’s office. It's for Johnny, he's doing it for Johnny. 

When he gets there, Johnny is in mild panic because there’s only a few minutes left till his next class and he has a group presentation to be preparing for. So he bids Jaehyun goodbye, tells him he’ll find Doyoung on the way and makes sure he’ll come in time before Jaehyun’s next class. 

The latter sits down on one of the stools beside the bed. Taeyong lies ghostly pale on the cot, eyes shut and breathing steady, hair slightly damp as the blanket covers half of his body and the humming of the air conditioner in the background comforting Jaehyun's slightly erratic heartbeat. 

He barely had enough time to calm down when he arrived here running. There's still sweat running down his forehead, and he proceeds to wipe them away. 

Taeyong looks peaceful like this, like he isn't the same person who humiliated him and kept sending him inexplicit death threats with his glares. Taeyong almost looks… _attractive_ to Jaehyun's eyes, and Jaehyun has to shake the thoughts away because he's supposed to be watching over the other, not creeping on him. 

Taeyong stirs in his bed a few moments later, and Jaehyun looks away from the man, fumbles in his bag to find his phone and pretend to be doing something. 

When Taeyong opens his eyes, the smell of antiseptic and the harsh cold of the room is the first thing he feels. He's in the infirmary. And next to him is Jung Jaehyun. 

"What are you doing here?" As he sits up, that sick feeling of butterflies bloom in his stomach again. 

"Johnny-hyung told me to watch over you while he goes to get Doyoung-hyung," he pauses. "How are you feeling?" 

Taeyong doesn't answer, only feels the butterflies in his stomach twist into something uncomfortable and he finds his chest aching. His right hand darts out to clench a fist around his sternum. It's getting so hard to breathe. 

"You okay?" 

Jaehyun's question falls on deaf ears, so does the sound of Doyoung entering the infirmary. 

"Hey, what happened? What's wrong?" Doyoung hurries to his side at the sight of Taeyong clutching his chest, his face contorting in pain. The latter takes shallow breaths, wheezing and coughing them out all the same. 

Doyoung tells Jaehyun to go get the nurse and he comes back with her in a matter of seconds. She instructs him to lie flat on the cot and relax his breathing. 

"There's nothing wrong with your body that I can identify. So you have to get checked out by a doctor, alright? It may be because of an underlying condition," Taeyong nods in acknowledgement as he breathes in and out steadily, Doyoung guiding him through it. 

Jaehyun stands on the sides, watching the scene unfold. What is happening to Taeyong? 

\--

"So what did the doctor tell you?" They're sitting in their usual spot outside the cafeteria. The weather was gloomy today, but it was still warm enough to have lunch outside so they decide to do so.

Taeyong sets his chopsticks down before muttering, "Before I tell you, there's something you need to know." Doyoung raises an eyebrow at this. 

"I'm a seer." 

Silence. And then Doyoung bursts out in pure joy. 

"I knew it, I knew it! Your dad was a seer too, right? That's amazing, Taeyong! Who're they?" 

Taeyong doesn't answer the question, but his eyes betray him and his gaze flits from Doyoung to the person behind him. His best friend follows his line of sight and turns around to find the culprit. 

"Jung Jaehyun?" he whispers, eyes wide in realization. 

Taeyong nods, keeps his eyes on Jaehyun a few feet away from them. He sits down with the same people he has been with for the past few weeks. Johnny, Jungwoo and Sicheng. 

"You should–"

"I'm not telling him. Not now, or ever." 

Doyoung gasps, his eyes turning round as realization dawns on him. "This is why you were getting sick?" 

Taeyong knows of seers. He found out when he was still young, under the care of his grandmother in the countryside with nothing but youth and naivety in his veins. He knows his mother and father met and conceived him after falling in love when they found out they were soulmates. What he didn't know, was that denying your feelings for said soulmate, can get you into trouble. 

His grandmother never told him about it since his parents never had to deny their feelings for each other, and he never found out until yesterday when he visited the doctor. 

"Taeyong do you realize that this illness could kill you?" Doyoung slams the door close. He's dragged him to an empty classroom as soon as Taeyong admitted to the illness. 

"I've heard stories about this. Even cancer has a better chance of finding a cure than this thing!" 

Taeyong hangs his head low. "You have to tell him."

"No."

"Why not?" Doyoung almost yells exasperatedly.

"Because... soulmates don't always end up together," Taeyong looks at his best friend dead in the eye. 

"Everyone has their eyes on him, probably a hundred other people has told him they're soulmates with him. He probably won't even spare me a glance if I told him we were soulmates." He takes a step closer to the younger. 

"It'll pass…"

"You know that's not true. You're bonded for life, Taeyong!"

"Soulmates don't always end up together," he reiterates. 

"I'll… keep my distance. The butterflies will go away. And so will the pain." 

Except it doesn't. A month later, Taeyong finds out that Jaehyun is dating somebody. 

_Kim Jungwoo._

He hears them say in the restroom, and his chest constricts painfully as if on cue. _Kim Jungwoo._ He lets the name roll off his tongue, inaudible to the other people outside the cubicle he's in. It tastes bitter, and painful, much like everything associated with Jung Jaehyun. 

He suddenly remembers what he told Doyoung barely a month ago. 

_Everyone has their eyes on him, he probably won't even spare me a glance if I told him we were soulmates._

He was right. Jung Jaehyun was never going to be his, soulmate or not, they were never going to happen. And he was going to risk a sad death than confess to that person and live with the rejection. He doesn't know which is more painful, but he's sure he doesn't wanna live with a broken heart. 

After all, having your heart broken by your soulmate is as good as being dead anyway.

\--

Johnny, Jungwoo, and Sicheng are fun people to be with. Jaehyun enjoys his time with them, so when Jungwoo asks him if he'd be interested in dating him, he says yes. It's not a well thought out answer. It just slips out of his mouth, causes Jungwoo's to curve into a smile. 

Jaehyun has more fun hanging out with Jungwoo for the next few days. The 'relationship' is good. Takes his mind off things, and for once there aren't that much people tailing him everywhere he goes on campus. 

He laughs heartily when Jungwoo tells him a joke, smacks his arm playfully at how funny it is. It's always like this when they're together, and that's what he loves about being with Jungwoo. 

They round the corner to the restroom, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion when they find the door closed, the word ‘RESTROOM’ staring down at them in bold letters. _It's always open._ Jungwoo twists the doorknob and pushes it open. The sight elicits an audible gasp from the younger. 

In one of the cubicles, Taeyong is puking into the toilet bowl, hands deep red and knuckles prominent as he holds on tight to the rim, retching out the contents of his stomach. Doyoung kneels beside him, rubbing comforting circles down his back. 

Jaehyun takes a step closer, two. And Taeyong senses the presence behind him just as he stops hurling. He turns around, finds Jaehyun staring at him from where he's slumped on the toilet bowl. 

Jaehyun can't understand the feeling he gets when he stares back at the older. His eyes are glistening from all the puking, breathing heavily and sweat covers his entire face, his hair damp and lifeless as is his complexion. He wants to… he wants to help him. Get him out of here, make him feel better, get him to a doctor, he doesn't know. But before he can, Doyoung is motioning for the older to get up. 

Doyoung's arms are around Taeyong in a matter of seconds, and Jaehyun's heart beats painfully in his chest at the sight. Taeyong is limping, even with Doyoung's help. He looks so lifeless. His eyes are deflated as he runs his hand over his forehead trying to get the strands of hair away from his face. 

Jaehyun can only look as he guides him out the restroom. He grabs at Doyoung's elbow as his last resort, whispers to him while Taeyong is busy washing his face on the sink. 

"What's wrong with Taeyong?" 

Doyoung stares back into his eyes for a moment, a beat of silence. And then he takes Jaehyun's hand off his arm. 

"The less you know, the better." 

Jaehyun stares back at him in confusion, even when Doyoung guides Taeyong out of the restroom, even when they're out of sight and Jungwoo is calling out to him. 

\--

A week after Jaehyun found Taeyong in the restroom, the latter decides to finally get admitted to a hospital. He can't attend classes anymore, he can barely get through the morning when his limbs are shaking, feeling like they're going to fall apart at any second. 

Doyoung is with him throughout all of it, always has been. And he's more than grateful for his best friend. So when the younger tells him he needs to be MIA for a couple of days because of a paper he has due, he doesn't complain, insists that he'll be fine on his own. 

Taeyong navigates through the room carefully, leans his weight on the stand where the IV drip lies when he uses the restroom. The nurses help him most of the time, so he has no trouble being there alone. 

That's why he's shocked to see Jaehyun standing at the foot of his bed one day, a basket of fruits in his hands. 

He sits up, grunts when he leans most of his weight in one arm and Jaehyun is beside him in a matter of seconds helping him up. 

"Doyoung-hyung said you were here. I hope you don't mind. I wanted to check on you since he said you were alone." 

Taeyong looks better now, Jaehyun thinks to himself. He still looks thin and frail, but at least some color is back on his face. The older doesn't meet his eyes as he sits on the hospital bed. Jaehyun serves him the fruit he got him and they stay silent all throughout it. 

When night time comes, Jaehyun waits when Taeyong is fast asleep. Watches out for his breathing to steady and his body to relax. He drapes the covers over the older, tucking him in nicely before he's grabbing his own things and exiting the room. 

He slides the door close as he steps out into the hallway. It's dark out now, 9 p.m., the last minute of visiting hours. Jaehyun stares at nothing on the tiled floor, keeps his head down when the lights flicker above him. 

He goes over the events of the day, nothing in particular standing out to him since it wasn't much of an eventful day. But his heart feels content, at rest when he was with Taeyong the whole day. Contrary to when he spent days worrying about the older since he saw him puking his guts out at the school's restroom, or when he spent restless nights thinking of what Taeyong's _underlying condition_ could be that Doyoung didn't want to tell him. 

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. He's bound to find out one way or another, so he comes back the day after that, and the next. Pretty soon he's coming to see Taeyong everyday, after class and he leaves when visiting hours are over. 

On Thursday, he drags Jungwoo to the rooftop, tells him he's sorry that he's been preoccupied lately but there's a lot on his mind. He breaks up with him. A flash of hurt momentarily crosses his face, but it's gone as soon as it came. And Jungwoo only smiles at him, tells him it's fine. He has to focus on his studies, too.

Whether Jungwoo cried over that breakup, Jaehyun doesn't know, because the next thing he does is rush to the hospital where Taeyong is alone. Taeyong needs him more right now, and he was going to take care of him if it meant abandoning all his responsibilities. 

\--

"Can you do me a favor?" Taeyong blurts out one day in the middle of reading a book, his voice slightly airy and void of strength. He's sitting up, his back to the headboard as Jaehyun sits at the chair next to his bed. 

Jaehyun turns his attention to him. "Yeah, sure. What is it?" 

"Do you know the way to the pound?" 

"The pound? Yeah I've passed by it a few times."

"There's this dog there, Ruby. I haven't seen her for a few weeks," Taeyong pauses, takes a sharp inhale as he holds back a cough. 

"I need you to get her a few treats. Some for the other dogs, too." Jaehyun just stares at him, dumbfounded. How does he know a dog from the pound?

"I volunteer there, sometimes." Taeyong answers as if reading his mind. 

Taeyong… volunteering at a dog pound. He lets his brain absorb the information. He's never seen the older as the animal lover type. To him, Taeyong has always looked cold and intimidating. What else does he not know about the other?

Turns out, a lot. For the next few days he finds out about Taeyong's fondness for sweets and pastries. When he's not too tired, he talks about the succulents he has in his dorm, which Jaehyun finds lying on the windowsill when he goes to said place to retrieve some of the older's clothes. There's a sketchbook lying on his nightstand, full of doodles and drawings of everyday mundane things. 

Taeyong's room is neat and tidy, and smells of lavender and vanilla. The sheets smell fresh despite being uninhabited for a few weeks now. He strolls through the place, his hands landing on a picture frame or two every now and then. There’s a picture of Taeyong with a dog who he assumes is Ruby. Beside it is a picture of him with his grandmother, and another with Doyoung. On the smaller frames he sees baby pictures of the older, and a smile slowly creeps its way onto his face. 

Taeyong is... admirable. He couldn’t have imagined saying that a few weeks ago, but now that he’s surrounded by knick knacks and baby pictures of the older, he can’t help but admire him. Maybe he’s not as bad as he first thought he was. 

\--

"I bought the sweet potatoes you liked, some other breads, too." Jaehyun sets the bag of pastries on the bedside table, proceeding to help Taeyong sit up. 

The older's hands dart out to the bag, and Jaehyun immediately fetches it for him, barely lets him move on the bed. Taeyong stares at him, at Jaehyun fumbling to get the contents of the bag out for him. 

"You said you liked bungeoppang, so I went to that small cafe a few blocks from the pound. They weren't doing the ‘buy 1 take 2’ thing but it beats having to go all the way to Gwangjang Market, right?" The younger smiles at him sheepishly. 

On his lap, an array of his favorite sweets, candy, chocolates, sweet potatoes, bread, and bungeoppang. Bungeoppang, he doesn't even remember telling the younger he likes them. Probably one of the times he was too exhausted to remember anything he said, and he probably isn't even allowed to eat this much sugar, but Jaehyun quite literally toured the entire city to get all of this for him. 

He looks back at the younger who's eyeing him expectantly to try the snacks. There's excitement on his eyes, and something akin to… fondness. He's looking at him with fondness. 

"You went all around town to get these for me?" 

Jaehyun only shrugs, "Yeah well, it's not a big deal. The lines weren’t long, and the owner ahjumma from the bungeoppang shop really likes me," he beams. 

The butterflies in Taeyong's stomach flutter faintly. It's not painful, like all the other times he's felt them. Just a pleasing feeling at the back of his head he can almost ignore. 

_It's not a big deal,_ he repeats the words in his head. Right. It isn't a big deal to Jaehyun. He has a boyfriend, he has Jungwoo. He's a caring person, and he would probably do the same for any other person who's as pathetic as he is, falling for someone he can never have and being bedridden for weeks. 

He takes the bungeoppang in his hand, opens the packet gingerly before he takes a small bite. 

"Is it good?" Taeyong looks back at the younger's eyes full of zeal and eagerness as he chews on the sweet. This Jaehyun, he cannot have. That smile, that joy doesn't belong to him. Jungwoo has taken that place for him long before he's even tried. 

"Yeah," he mutters, voice hoarse and barely audible. "It tastes great," he smiles reassuringly to which the younger lets out a relieved hearty laugh. 

Jaehyun takes a seat on the stool, dragging it close to the bed to tell him all about how he went from the bungeoppang cafe to the starbucks 20 minutes away just to find all those for him. 

"I know I shouldn't be letting you eat all these sweets but maybe they can lift your mood, you know? Make you feel better somehow."

Taeyong smiles at him, doesn't let the sadness in his eyes show. He's going to let himself feel happy, even if just for a few short moments before Jaehyun goes back to someone else who isn't him. 

\--

The very next day, Jaehyun tells him he can't visit him at the hospital. Midterms are nearing, and the younger tells him over the phone how much he wishes he could just study at the hospital with him but Johnny and the others opted for a group study at his place. 

Johnny and the others. Johnny, Sicheng and Jungwoo… He's there with Jungwoo. He lets the thought sink in. A sickening feeling settling at his stomach at the notion. That smile never belonged to him, it never will. Someone else has taken that place for him long before he's even tried. 

\--

"Don't let him come back here," he spits, taking the blankets off his torso and stepping off the bed to head for the comfort room. 

"What? Taeyong, you were starting to feel better when he was around." Doyoung helps him up, guides him the way there. 

"Maybe a part of you was starting to accept that he was your soulmate," Taeyong stops dead in his tracks, his hospital gown swaying at the light breeze that's coming in from the open windows. 

He turns to face Doyoung, an unreadable expression plastered on his face. 

"He's never going to be mine," Taeyong breathes, his voice breaking. Doyoung stays silent, a beat. There's a lump forming in his throat, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. 

"The more I see him, the more I fall in love with him because he was never the douchebag I thought he was from the beginning." He holds a firm grip on his IV stand, his knees shaking as his chest constricts at his own words. 

"Everyday I learn more about him and, everyday I'm reminded that he's not _mine_ ," his voice breaks as a tear makes its way out his sockets. 

"He'll never be mine, and I've always known that and I was foolish to think that maybe someday he would realize that he was meant to be with _me_ and not anyone else, but what if that time never comes and I'm left to my own misery until I wither out of my own skin and die alone," he's rambling now, out of breath and out of strength as his fingers hold a tight grip on the IV stand. 

Doyoung comes to his rescue, locking him in a tight embrace as he bursts into tears, sobs racking his whole body as his cries echo within the four corners of the room. 

This is the reality he has to face, the one he has to live with. He will never see that smile ever again. 

\--

"Jaehyun, you can't go back there," Doyoung confronts the younger. 

"What? Why not?" 

"It's what Taeyong wants. Just please listen, okay? It's just… It's better this way," Jaehyun all but slams his locker shut, runs to Doyoung who's walking away from him. 

"Hyung, what's really going on with Taeyong-hyung?" He looks the older in the eye, searching for answers. He finds nothing. 

"The doctors don't even seem to know what's wrong with him. Everything they say is just a vague mess of jargon. Look, hyung I think we need to take him to a better hospital. My dad knows someone from the–" 

"That's not necessary, Jaehyun. The doctors know what's wrong. Even Taeyong." 

"Then why is nobody telling me," he breathes, just _desperate_ for answers. He doesn't understand what kind of predicament his hyung is in. 

One day his head would feel like a machete is pounding into his skull that he's crying from the pain, and the next he'd have explosive diarrhea. It doesn't make sense. He's not an expert on the medical field but it's just not adding up. There's not just _one_ thing wrong with the older. It's like his whole body is deteriorating. 

Doyoung sighs in exasperation, he's _this_ close to just telling the younger. But he can't. It's not his place to tell. 

"Just please listen, okay? You can't go back there, ever." 

Jaehyun stands there in the middle of the hallway, dumbfounded and confused as he watches Doyoung walk away. 

He doesn't go back to the hospital, tries to keep his mind away from frail hands, rose scars, and soulful eyes. He busies himself with midterms and Johnny, Sicheng and Jungwoo. Of papers and coffees at 3 a. m. just trying to get through this half of the semester without burning out or breaking down. 

Midterms pass by in a hazy blur, and he doesn't quite remember much of it. Doesn't remember himself being so nervous about his test scores like he usually would. His mind is somewhere else, and it's taking up more of his energy the longer he stays away, and before he knows it it's been 5 days since he last went to the hospital. 

He stares accusingly at the calendar on the wall as he bites into his nails, his foot tapping onto the floor nervously. He's stayed away for long enough, he decides. He needs to see Taeyong, even if the older doesn't wanna see him. 

He slips into the older's room at the last minute of visiting hours. The clock on the wall reads exactly 9 p.m. and he hears a light snoring from Taeyong as he shuts the door behind him close. The room is dimly lit by the moonlight streaming in through the glass windows from outside. He spots Doyoung sleeping on the small couch at the other end of the room, so he's careful not to wake either of them. 

He takes a few steps closer to the older's bed, feet cautious of any sound he might make. As he nears, he sees how thin Taeyong has gotten. His jaw and collarbones seem to have become even more prominent compared to the last time he was here. An oxygen mask now covers his nose and mouth, and there are more needles on his wrist as there are bags on the IV stand. 

His heart pains at the sight, he doesn't know what Taeyong must have gone through while he was away. Was Doyoung here the whole time or did the older have to suffer the pain alone on some days when his best friend was away? Was he still allowed to eat bungeoppang and sweet potato cubes at the state his body is in? 

He settles at the stool next to the bed. He wants to know so much, he's missed him _so much._ He just wants to stay here until Taeyong gets better, he wants to see his hyung get better. But the last thing Taeyong wants is to see him, so he decides this will suffice for now. Arrive late at night when he's asleep and slip out before he wakes. He just needs to make sure Taeyong will be fine. 

\--

_The air is cold against Taeyong's body when he comes to. He breathes, a condensed cloud of air coming out of his lips against the cold harsh wind. He tries to move his limbs, only to find that most of his body is submerged in cold, dark waters. A sea, he's in the middle of the sea, with no land on the horizon in sight._

_He turns his body around, trying to find anyone else in the vast ocean who might help him, but there's none. He's here all alone. Almost as if the whole world has up and left him in another universe while they celebrate his absence on Earth. He glances up, the moonlight seems almost inviting amidst the cold waters._

_And that's when he hears it, a voice. Faint and haunting that he doubts his ears for a second before he hears the voice call out to him again._

_"Hyung," Taeyong whips around to the direction of the sound, his hands and feet kicking to where the voice is coming from._

_"Hyung," the voice is louder now, and Taeyong wills his feet to kick faster and stronger, because he needs to get out of here. He can't stay in here forever, he's not going to let the world forget him._

_"Hyung," almost as if on cue, his body stops moving abruptly. His hands and knees suspended on abysmal waters as he struggles to paddle himself afloat._ He can't let the world forget him. 

_Inevitably, Taeyong starts sinking. His whole body succumbing to the water below him as his head dips underwater and he screams. He screams for the one person he knows is there, "Jaehyun!"_

_But all that comes out is a muffled wailing as the last remnants of air leave his lungs and he sinks deeper down the abyss of dark nothingness._

Taeyong wakes up with a jolt, a hand on his chest as he takes in a lungful of air only to find that sickening feeling of butterflies in his stomach. His eyes dart around the room still hazy and unfocused, and that's when he finds Jaehyun next to him, eyes wide in both panic and confusion as a hand lands firm on his arm. 

"Hyung, what's wrong," he wrenches the grip off his arm, cold sweat on his forehead as a wave of nausea hits him and a pounding headache makes his vision blur. 

"Jaehyun, I thought I told you not to come here!" Doyoung wakes in the middle of the commotion and he hurries to Taeyong's side in a split second. He takes the oxygen mask off the other's mouth, helps him calm his breathing as Taeyong grips the sheets and wheezes air in and out of his body. 

"What's wrong with him, I-I don't–" 

" _You're_ causing this!" Jaehyun is cut short when Taeyong turns to face him, still inhaling lungfuls of air and trying to calm the pain in his chest. 

"W-what? Hyung, I don't understand. This is–" 

"I'm a seer, and you're–" Taeyong pauses, braces himself for what he's about to say. A beep resounds in the room as Doyoung hastily pushes a button to alert the nurses of the situation. 

"You're my soulmate."

Jaehyun freezes, the sounds around the room not registering in his ears. Taeyong's erratic breathing, Doyoung's panic, even the sound of the air conditioner is mute as a deafening ringing resounds in his ears. 

Taeyong stares at the man in front of him. All he registers in Jaehyun's face is shock.

He’s still trying to catch his breath, the air feels stale on his lungs and each time he inhales it gets harder for him to breathe. Jaehyun can’t be here, he can’t be near him. 

“Jaehyun, you have to get out, right now.” Doyoung demands, pressing the red button on the wall a few more times in his panic. He fumbles around the room, grabbing the oxygen mask and securing it around Taeyong’s head as it keeps slipping off his grip in his haste.

Taeyong’s eyes don’t leave Jaehyun all the while, and neither does the younger’s on him. The older can’t watch the expression on Jaehyun’s face any longer. _Shock, confusion, pity._ Whatever it is, he doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want Jaehyun here if that’s all he’s willing to give him. 

Taeyong takes a particularly deep breath, uses the last energy inside him to yell a “Get out!” at the younger. 

Jaehyun takes a step back from the scene, not registering anything that’s happening around him, still. Taeyong is clutching at the sheets now, and he shuts his eyes momentarily after the words leave his mouth. There are nurses coming in now, the huddled footsteps distorting his thoughts as a doctor replaces Doyoung beside his hyung. 

“Get out, Jaehyun!” Taeyong all but yells.

That’s all it takes for Jaehyun to take his last step back, the look in Taeyong’s eyes screaming at him to _go away_ and in turn, he darts out of the room. Leaving the chaos of nurses trying to calm Taeyong down as he tries to get rid of the image of Taeyong screaming at him to leave him alone. 

The moment Jaehyun leaves the room, any and all strength Taeyong has mustered leaves him. The blackness at the corner of his eyes finally overtaking his vision, and the last thing that he remembers is the flash of pain in Jaehyun’s eyes before he left him. 

\--

Jaehyun doesn't understand. Why has Taeyong kept this all a secret from him when he's been so good to the older? Sure, they've had a rough patch. They didn't exactly start out as best friends, but they have been getting closer haven't they? 

He doesn't understand, why is he the one causing all this? He knows of seers, has heard of them growing up. But he's never really understood the concept of _seeing_ as he wasn't one himself. 

He nervously gnaws on his lip, fingers hovering over the mousepad of his laptop as the cursor blinks over the Google search button. He's nervous of what he might find. Because, why in the world is he causing Taeyong to get severely sick that he can barely walk or even breathe?

He mentally prepares himself for what he might find as he clicks search. A myriad of search results immediately appear. _1,267,939 search results_. Jaehyun clicks on the first one. Eyes scanning through the answers as the light from the computer bores through his vision. 

That night, he reads on how seers find out who their soulmates are through the intense feeling of butterflies in their stomachs, which can intensify whenever that someone is in close proximity. He knows that already. 

What he doesn't know, is that that seemingly beautiful feeling can twist into something so sinister when the seer denies his feelings for their soulmate. 

_'Palpitations, weak muscles, heart complications, lung damage, abdominal pain, kind of like your whole body is rotting, but in the most painful way possible,'_ one comment reads. 

Jaehyun drops his head, runs a hand through his hair at the knowledge. This really was all his fault. He should've kept his distance from the beginning. But now that he knows, what is he going to do about it? 

Immediately be in a relationship with his hyung just to save his life? He probably wouldn't mind that. But he doesn't want to be disingenuous to the older. And Taeyong probably knew he would do this, that's probably why he's been keeping him from finding out this whole time. 

His mind blanks at this, hands running through his hair as he drops his head on the computer table. Whatever it is that he decides to do, he must tell Taeyong, right? Because it's not just about him. If he had found out before it became this complicated, he would've had time to organize his thoughts and find out what he really wants. But Taeyong is _literally dying._ He can't sit around and wait to figure out what _he_ wants when the other's life is at stake. 

He decides to talk to Taeyong, and so drops everything he's currently doing and grabs for his coat, dashing out of his apartment to go to the hospital. 

Not knowing it may be too late. 

\--

It takes Jaehyun an extra 10 minutes late to arrive because of the unusually heavy traffic, almost as if the gods don't want him here. But he's standing in the lobby now, and there's a weird feeling at the pit of his stomach at how eerie the hospital looks despite being here for more days than most of these visitors probably have. 

He all but runs to the elevator, pressing on the floor Taeyong is in. When the shaft shuts close and he's left to his own thoughts while waiting, a million things run through Jaehyun's mind. Is he too late? 

_Please, God._

He presses both palms to his face, uncertain of what image he might come to when he opens that room, but before he could dwell on it any longer, the elevator doors open and he's running to where Taeyong's room is until he spots Doyoung outside on the hallways. 

"Doyoung-hyung!" he calls out, slowing down to where Doyoung is standing. 

His heart drops to his stomach when upon closer inspection he sees the dread on Doyoung's face and the red in his eyes. 

"Hyung, w-what happened? Please don't tell me–"

"Taeyong, he–" Doyoung's voice breaks, and so does his resolve. 

"His body couldn't take it anymore… So the doctors decided it would be best to p-put him in a medically-induced coma," he pauses, swallowing the lump in his throat as Jaehyun has a hard time processing the information. 

"But he–he might not wake up, Jaehyun." Doyoung's eyes are almost pleading, his eyes glossing over as he stares back at the younger. 

"There's no cure, and there still might not be one when he wakes up a few months from now, and h-he could–" Jaehyun doesn't let him finish, he doesn't wanna hear it. He runs to Taeyong's room, his heart hammering in his chest as every other sense in his body completely blacks out. 

He can't feel his feet on the floor and the air in his lungs. All that matters is _Taeyong. Taeyong. Taeyong._

He rounds the corner, almost bumping into another visitor when he sees Taeyong's room in sight. He pushes the door open, holding his breath at the sight that might greet him. 

But there's none, Taeyong isn't here.

He looks around the room panting, when he finds a nurse standing near the bed fumbling with the oxygen tank. 

"Where's the patient?" 

"They just left, they're on their way to the Intensive Care Unit."

Jaehyun doesn't know where the hell their ICU is, but he takes a wild guess and turns right when he gets out of Taeyong's room. He wills his feet to run faster and his eyes to focus at the dim hallways. 

That's when he finds a few nurses and staff wheeling a cot to the direction of the elevator. Whoever is lying on that cot, he can't quite see. 

_It's Taeyong-hyung, I'm sure of it._

"Taeyong-hyung!" he yells from where he is, but the nurses don't stop wheeling the cot to the elevator and so he doubts his gut instincts for a moment. That's probably not Taeyong. 

He shakes the thoughts away, speeding up to catch up to the group of people in the hallway. That's his Taeyong-hyung. He knows it. 

Jaehyun is almost out of breath when he slows down, the group of nurses now closer in view. His limbs are aching in protest and his lungs are begging for air, but he holds his breath as he takes a few steps closer. The person lying on the cot slowly coming into view. 

Jaehyun's breath hitches at the sight of Taeyong. His eyes closed and his breathing steady. 

"Hyung," Jaehyun utters as the nurses stop in their tracks when Taeyong's eyes flutter open to greet him. 

There's desperation and pain to his gaze, but also relief and comfort. Almost as if he had been waiting, _begging_ for Jaehyun to come to him all this time. 

To come and save him from himself. He doesn't want to drown, he doesn't want the world to leave him. He doesn't want everyone to celebrate his absence. He can't let go of Jaehyun. 

He loves him too much. The universe has willed them to come together in the end, and now he's not going to fight it anymore. He's done fighting the inevitable. 

And so, with one last step, Jaehyun closes the distance between the two of them, holds Taeyong's cheeks in both his palms as he presses a chaste kiss on his chapped lips. 

Taeyong's eyes flutter close, the familiar feeling of butterflies invading his stomach. But this time, it doesn't twist into something cynical. The feeling stays there like washed out pleasure. 

It doesn't feel overpowering or overwhelming. It's like his body has finally known peace, and so has his heart at the feeling of his soulmate's lips on his. 


	2. Epilogue

Taeyong looks over the vast expanse of trees below him, the sound of birds echoing throughout the woods and hills almost therapeutic to his ears as he takes a sip from the cup of hot chocolate warming his palms. 

He momentarily closes his eyes, lets the drink soothe his stomach, the warmness spreading throughout his body as he adjusts the fleece on his shoulders. There's a faint rustle of twigs on grass behind him before he feels Jaehyun settle down on the log next to him. A thick blanket wraps around his shoulder as soon as the younger sits down, and Taeyong smiles at the gesture. 

"I know you said we're only staying here until you fully recuperate but I'm kinda loving this place," Jaehyun chimes. 

"Maybe we could stay here say, 5 years and get 3 dogs? Of course, I'd want a cat too at some point. The cabin could really use some new heating too. Ooh, and we could get a bunggeopang maker! We wouldn't wanna go down to town everytime you're craving for some bunggeopang," Jaehyun smiles sheepishly at him, and the butterflies in Taeyong's stomach are back once again. 

He'll probably never be used to having the younger around and making him feel all sorts of things. It's been almost a month since he's been rid of IV bags and oxygen masks now, but his whole body still weakens at the sight of Jaehyun. 

"Well," he holds the cup of hot chocolate in one hand, takes the younger's in his own. 

Taeyong has nothing to worry about now. Jaehyun has saved him from himself, his head above water, his feet on solid ground, and the love of his life beside him. 

"You don't have to worry. 'Cause we have the rest of our lives to spend together." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope i did this prompt some justice. to the prompter, thank you so much for this amazing prompt <3 the first time i read it i just couldn't get it out of my head and i apologize if i went a little over the word count. my writing style is usually very wordy so it was kind of a challenge getting it this short but i hope u enjoyed it!


End file.
